Everything is Broken

Sunday, November 09, 2003

This is an Update
I'm serious, it is. You can stop complaining now.
Ark 12:10 AM [+]
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I'm Updating Because People Told Me To and Something Funny Just Happened
People have been telling me recently that I haven't been updating my blog enough recently. I find this interesting because I honestly thought no one cared. Anyway, I figured I'd satisfy my hordes of currently dissatisfied readers by providing them with an amusing anecdote.

Tonight, my mother invited over some the Austrian man who helps train her horses, his wife, and their daughter, who is the same age as my brother. I assumed they would come over for a few hours, let their daughter play with Bennett, and then be on their marry way. Such was not the case. They were indeed here for a few hours, but they decided to go off for awhile and come back around 7:30 for dinner. After they had been home for awhile, my mother decided that either A) I had been in my room too long and needed to socialize, or B) the fancy-pants Austrian people were not impressed by our house and such, and needed to be thoroughly impressed. She came into my room with the wife, whose name I forgot, and introduced me. After I politely waved and submitted my obligatory "Nice to meet you," my mother demanded that I stand up. I complied, and my mother quickly pointed out that I am *gasp* OVER 6 FEET TALL! I'M A FREAKING GIANT RAWR SMASH!

She then made me follow her out into the living room to introduce me to the husband. After some polite small talk she told me that I was her "brain-child" and that I was almost completely intolerant of ignorant or uneducated people. Ok, so it's true and all, but she just brought it up out of nowhere. It wasn't really pertinent. She finally let me go back to my room after jokingly saying she was "showing me off." I strongly believe that she acted jocular while saying this to mask the fact that she really was showing me off.

I guess in retrospect it's not all that funny...I'd relate the story of my step-father interrogating me because I had a friend named Ibrahim to make up for it, but it's too stupid for me to recall again.

You're already qualified for a brand-new, brand-name computer!
Ark 10:04 PM [+]
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Am I still here?
Ark 2:31 PM [+]
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Ricardo is Probably the Second Funniest Person on Earth


IratelyBlank: i started mashing keys on my keyboard
IratelyBlank: and like
IratelyBlank: my computer freaked out
IratelyBlank: and it was like hey calm down what teh fuck are you doing
IratelyBlank: and i was like stfu bitch
IratelyBlank: and it was like yes sir
LumpyGirdlechunk: hahaha
LumpyGirdlechunk: you so funny
IratelyBlank: and i'm like damn straight don't make me fuck you in the ear
IratelyBlank: and it wasl ike no please don't
IratelyBlank: then i was like hells yeah bitch now do my computer stuff
IratelyBlank: and its all AHH
IratelyBlank: cause i'm the guy all the bad girls want
IratelyBlank: bad girls go to prison and comes out as lesbians
IratelyBlank: fat hairy lesbians
IratelyBlank: with weird facial hair
IratelyBlank: and tangled pubic hair
IratelyBlank: and neck muslces
IratelyBlank: and big fat fingers
IratelyBlank: and those lil ponies
IratelyBlank: that go riiddeee me
IratelyBlank: except in pony language
IratelyBlank: beuacse when you go to sea world
IratelyBlank: they wanna ride the ponies
IratelyBlank: and if they don't...
IratelyBlank: omg
IratelyBlank: don't even get me started on whhat happens if they don't ride the ponies
IratelyBlank: the'll fucking freak out
IratelyBlank: and just start killing people
IratelyBlank: and get sent to jail
IratelyBlank: and their fingers will get fatter
IratelyBlank: and eventually
IratelyBlank: their rfingers will be SO far that they can't even get on the ponies anymore
IratelyBlank: then they'll find a unicorn
IratelyBlank: and you know what happens if you sit on a unicorn
IratelyBlank: 5023 year curse
IratelyBlank: to the land of banishment
IratelyBlank: (vantican city)
LumpyGirdlechunk: im not even readin any of that
IratelyBlank: you better fucking read it
IratelyBlank: thats a cool story
IratelyBlank: ugh
IratelyBlank: stop cybering
IratelyBlank: and read my story
IratelyBlank: NOW GOD DAMMIT
Ark 10:55 PM [+]
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Well, That Was Stupid...
The beginning of August has arrived, and with it the beginning of school for Seminole County. This means that the hatred I feel for certain things which dissipated over the summer has been swiftly and mercilessly reassured.

The day began fairly well...ok, that's a lie. It began with me waking up at 5 AM, which in and of itself isn't too bad, but still doesn't fall under "fairly well." Everything after this did, however, go fairly well. At least, it did until I had to catch the bus. I woke up about 15 minutes too early, and as a result I got to my bus stop at 6:00 instead of 6:15. Now, I've never really been bothered by having to stand around for a few minutes, but it's rained heavily for the past 4 or 5 days. For those of you who don't live in Florida, or any other mosquitoe-infested state (which is none of you, I think), Standing Water + Mosquitoes = ALOT MORE MOSQUITOES. So as I stood waiting for the bus to arrive, I was being attacked by wave after wave of kamikaze mosquitoes, whose sole purpose was to distract me so that their mosquito friends could land somewhere and take a bite out of me. Eventually the bus came...and went. I'm serious, the bus came by and just kept going. It didn't even stop to pick me up. Now that I think about it, it might not have been my bus, but when I think about it more (or less) it probably was. The bus must've just drove by me, made a big loop, and came back about 10 minutes later, at which point I got on and went to school. For those of you who haven't experienced it, having a bus you're supposed to get on drive straight past you without stopping leaves you with a very strange feeling. It's sort of like when your parents leave the house without telling you. Then you notice the house is on fire. Maybe not quite so severe, but you get the idea.

First period at school was good. Good teacher, friends in the class, etc. Third period (block scheduling, no 2nd period today) is also good, and as the class is 10 people, about half of which are my friends, you can expect future stories about this AP Physics class. 5th period, however, is going to drive me insane. It irritates me to no end that STUPID freshman are in Spanish II, but I, an intelligent JUNIOR am in the same class...it'll probably be an easy A though.

My school went from about 300 students last year to about 500 this year, and as a result our former single lunch period has no become a Lunch A and a Lunch B. Which lunch you eat is chosen based on your 5th period class most of the days, but your 4th period class Monday. As a result of this, I have Lunch B every day except Wednesday, when I have Lunch A. Given my protracted history of getting the proverbial "short end" of the proverbial "stick" it does not suprise me that I know about 6 people who have Lunch B, and are friends with about 3 of them. I can only hope that Lunch A on Wednesdays makes up for this.

After lunch I proceeded to a class I very quickly realized I am not going to continue taking. Chemistry Honors. Some of you may be wondering, "Brandon, why are you in Chemistry AND Physics?" Well, the answer to this is as follows: I thought I could handle 5 core classes, three of which were AP. I have only this to say: I cannot. For some reason I expected Chemistry to be ridiculously easy. I got into the class and she asked a series of questions about the elements of the periodic table. I knew about 3 out of the 25 or so. Anyway, that class is going to be dropped promptly, and at no great loss.

Tomorrow I look forward to Networking II, or possibly A+ if I change it before class starts, AP Language and Composition, AP American History, and more Spanish. Expect another update tomorrow.

Oh, and church Wednesday, for the first time in about 8 months.
Ark 4:02 PM [+]
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Cleanliness is Next to Godliness
I know it's a bit late, but here are pictures of my room in it's completed (sorta) form. This has been clean for about a month and a half now, so don't go thinking I'm a pig who left his room looking like that mess a few posts lower. The only thing I have left to add is the 36" flat screen TV I'm getting soon. And probably a new entertainment center.









At least it doesn't look a room that belongs to some squatter who moves from town to town on a weekly basis anymore.

Ark 10:26 PM [+]
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The Perils of SeaWorld

SeaWorld is now officially the worst attraction in the greater Orlando area. I've had company down from Maryland for nearly a week now, and they wanted to go to SeaWorld so we went with them. My mom allowed me to invite a friend so as to keep me from drowning myself in Shamu's tank out of boredom.

Upon our arrival, my friend and I promptly left the group to look for Kraken. We could see the roller coaster the entire time, but couldn't for the life of us seem to find an entrance. We walked around for about 30 minutes before we found it cleverly tucked away in the corner of the park. The line was only 10 minutes and the ride was good. Later we decided to get in line a second time, and we made it all the way into the seats, and began buckling down our harnesses when they decided to close down the ride without letting the people already in the car get their ride. Their reason was rain, which I understood, but then I was further aggravated when it only rained for 10 minutes, and it was only a slight drizzle.

In between our two rides, however, we attempted to eat what SeaWorld passes off to the poor tourists as lunch. The first idea we had on where to eat was a pizza place. I looked at the prices, and they seemed reasonable. $8 for a pizza is about right. Then my friend points out to me that this is $8 per fucking slice. Needless to say I left that restaurant immediately in hopes that I could find one that didn't want roughly 18 times the prices the food normally would be. We never found a place with normally priced food, but we eventually settled on a particular restaurant because the fajita baked potato sounded good. Let me explain this "Fajita Baked Potato" to you. It was supposed to be a baked potato topped with red and green peppers and marinated steak. It was not. What it was, however, was a microwaved potato, cut in half, with a large mound of red and green peppers and a few tiny strips of steak in it. At first I figured this would be ok. I mostly just wanted the potato anyway. I ate the steak and peppers (both fairly good, but of very small portions) and then attempted to eat the potato. It was the single worst potato I have ever tasted. I took one bite and then refused to eat any more on the basis that I was worried it woud live in my stomach and eventually spawn demonic, disgusting potato larvae or something. Not only that, the potato cost me 8 freaking dollars.

Immediately after I left, I found the only decently priced piece of (edible) food in the entire park. It wasn't even advertised, so I actually had to ask the price. $2.30 for a very large danish, with your choice of cheese, cherry, or what looked like peach fillings. I got one of these to try to combat the evil bite of potato I had just eaten, in hopes that the danish would create a lovely European utopia in my stomach after it eradicated the infidel potato.

Ok, so maybe it's not the worst park ever...the food just sucks. And I mean, the weather isn't controllable. But I did encounter one of the stupidest people I've had to deal with in quite awhile.

While waiting in line for my third ride on Kraken (that's all I did besides play DDR) a girl in front of me took out her keys and began scrawling a letter into the wall with them. Now, this wall is rather lavishly painted, so repainting it obviously costs quite a bit. After she finished scratching out her "A" (which may have stood for Anarchy, her name, or Asshole) I looked at her and said, "You know, you probably shouldn't do that. They pay to paint and repaint their walls." To this she responded, "Well so do I." At first, I didn't even know how to respond to that. It was SUCH a stupid argument...but I managed, "Yeah, you do, but they don't come to your house and scratch your walls with their keys." Her response: "No, but they could." I didn't really see how they could, or why, so I said "No, they really couldn't, seeing as how they don't know where you live." She still had plenty of stupid things to say left in her, but apparently her advanced case of ADD refused to allow her to stay on topic. "Sealab 2021 eh (referring to my 0wnz0rtastic shirt)? That's pretty gay." I hate it when people refer to something they believe is stupid as "gay (ghey is ok though)." Not because it simply doesn't make sense..well, partially that. But partially because MOST people stopped saying it when they hit 6th grade. I just said "Yeah?" and ignored her after that. I explained to my friend that girls (and people in general) like that were the reason almost everything in the world sucks. I explained the cycle.

1. Company paints walls
2. Girl scratches walls
3. Company repaints wall, costing extra money they had not planned to spend.
4. Company recoups profit losses by selling foam potatos at jacked up prices.
5. Brandon gets angry

The rest of the day was uneventful, but I do hold the current #1 Oni Mode high score on the DDR Extreme machine there.

Holy crap! Did you see how freaking long that blog entry was?

Yeah..I know..I saw how freaking long that blog entry was...


Ark 4:22 PM [+]
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A BED!

Well, my room is finally no longer an abysmal pit of filth and horror, and I no longer have to sleep on a mattress on the floor.

My mom finally got my box spring and new mattress, so we set up the new bed. My room is now an abysmal pit of filth and horror with a gigantic fucking bed in the middle.

See for yourself


Ark 10:55 PM [+]
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HOLY CRAP

I came home from a friend's house today and not only was no one home, but my house looked like it had been ransacked. Nothing was where it should've been, and alot of things were missing. I initially thought we had been robbed, but then I realized that the things of value were intact, and only worthless crap was gone.

Once my mom got home, I asked what was going on and she told me that she was getting ready for a garage sale. Apparently that explains why I no longer have a BED whereas my brother somehow has THREE of them. Apparently what happened is this: my mom got some extra cash and went on a furniture buying spree. We are getting a new couch, new recliners, a new coffee table, a new bed for me, a new desk for me, and a new entertainment center (this one's a maybe) for me. My mom is also getting an entire dining room set.

Anyways, I had to clear a bunch of crap out of my room. This mainly consisted of my wall unit which MAY be replaced by a new entertainment center. However, because my wall unit housed a lot of my action figures, DVDs, manga, video games, etc, I know have a surplus of stuff laying around my room. Also, because my BED formerly housed my MATRESS I have to sleep on a matress on the floor for a day or so. HOORAH!

Anyway, here are some pictures of what my room looks like now. I'm gonna put some pictures of what it looks like after I get my new stuff up...well...once I get my new stuff.











It's a fucking mess, isn't it?
Ark 12:07 AM [+]
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